How To Stop Being A People Pleaser (part 1)

I admire using my own experience in my personal coaching. When I am sitting in front of my client and I know what this person might feel, it’s easier to rise his energy. It is easier to find right questions, which will guide him to the next level. 

I have been working on my consciousness since 5 years. The biggest breakthrough I had with my own coach 3 years ago. Milagros  asked me one question which changed my life.  

I do remember this moment , when the wave of tears has flooded my whole body. I could ‘t stop it. It was right there for such a long time. She touched this vulnerable place , where whole emotions was hidden. And bam…. This was turning point in my life. 

 I can’t say , that from now on I haven’t been doing the same mistakes. I cannot even say I knew what is this, but from that very moment I knew everything is going to change.

The first step to change my life was standing out for myself.

In my previous life I did a lot for myself to GROW. I did university, some courses, learned English , found jobs. But most of these choices were made based on people ‘s point of view.  My parents, society, school, friends. Nobody in particular was saying: ” Hey do this and that, because it will make me happy” . However I had my own program in my head.

Questions like: 

What will people say?

Will they still like me?

Wouldn’t I loose him/her if I say no to it? 

And in this hidden subconscious fear I was taking choices which made people happy but not me. 

I didn’t know how much energy cost me pleasing people

If you:

  • feel responsible for other people emotions
  • you do not say out loud what your real opinion is
  • you can’t stand that somebody is anger on you
  • constantly look for people’s approval and love
  • you avoid saying your true to escape conflict
  • you do not get promoted , but you work hard like a horse

Then I assure you, you will burn out in your life very soon. Nobody is able to live whole live without being authentic and same time be an happy person.

On the contrary , this will make you frustrated, unhappy and you will attract lots of toxic people. Because , if you do not set your fixed boundaries, then there are many willing people who will want to exceed them to the maximum.

How to stop pleasing people?

It is not easy thing to stop it from very first day. I can assure you that I still go through this lesson each week. I need to be mindful every time when people ask me an favor. When my clients cross the boundary which we settled in the contract. It is a daily work to be with ME not only for PEOPLE.

If you are interested how to overcome this challenge in your life, follow me on Linkedin or FB.

You will get notification with my next blog where I will provide first step, when you completly start your people pleasing challnge.,

If you liked this post, please click like and share it. There are more people who need some knowledge on this topic.

You can also book your free coaching session to discover life coaching with me .

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