Karolina Filosek

When you are not ready for a coaching…

After a few conversations with people in my environment and exchanging coaching experiences, I felt that some of us still doesn’t know when a coach could help to achieve our goals.

Therefore, from these conversations, going a little bit deeper, I realized , that in fact, not every one need a change. Looking from my perspective, I could change in someones life this or that. However, it is not my role to judge if someone needs it. To put it briefly: some people is fine as there just are. Sometimes they just feel slightly balled up, when everyone around them, constantly improve something in their successful lives.

I understand it. Slogans like:  “Be Happy”, “You can Do it”, “stay motivated”, “pick up your ass from the couch and make your dreams come true” just fall from everywhere … While you listen and read it, you just start slowly falling into a panic. We all seem to be around rushing for success and so ambitious: here another language course, new job promotions, there again someone buys fifth apartment for renting , Mr businessman and landlord of the year … and you still do nothing ….

So, then you decide to look for a help. Well, as they all have goals, and you do not have it , then it means that there must be something wrong with you.. Isn’t it? First step:  You are looking for a coach, you call him, you make an appointment and you go there full of hope. They all say that the coach will help you find the purpose of your life and achieve it.


You come to the first sessions… You sit down, filled with stress and a stuffed. You visualize yourself on The Canary Islands with 5 virgins and seven boats… oh, Yes the coach will surely help me, today here and now.

You are presenting yourself. And It here comes the first question: What would you like to change in your life?

You: YYYYY… Yy.. Hmm… Well I want to have a goal.

Coach: What would you like to change in your life?

You: YYy… Well I want to have a goal.

Coach: And what causes you to have the feeling to have this new goal?

You: Yyy.. Well,  everyone now have a goals so  I also want to have a goal.

Coach: And therefore I understand that you are not satisfied for this moment with your life?

You: Actually, I’m happy here where I am, I have a nice girl, a nice apartment, I got good work and I feel healthy … but since everyone has a goals nowadays, so then I want to have a new goal …

Coach: So, are you here to find the goal.However only because everybody has a goals in their life ? And you’re really happy and you don’t want to change anything? Do I understand correctly?


In The above dots, enter your answer.

If you feel good about your life , then the give a break to coaching. I know that this is now fashionable. I know that your boss and buddies will look at you with admiration, but in life it is not about others.It s just about you and what you desire and need is for this moment.

Tomorrow, you may find that you are no longer in balance. You might want to make changes. However, until you have the deep need in you to change something and the only thing that directs you is the fashion for motivation and continuous action, give it a rest..

Listen to yourself and what Your body and mind tells You. This is a map where you should base your actions and decisions on.

I Omit here, of course, the situation in which Your boss proposes you to finance coaching for you. Maybe he thinks that there is some space to pull up. But that’s a different situation. It s about an executive coach who will work with you on getting the missing skills, so-called.. ‘Soft skills‘. However, I would still point out ,that in this case, it still must be your an inside motivation for a change. I know that those from outside, work only for a while. Until you feel that, your body and mind will not resonate to change.


Do not follow the crowd, what is good for others does not have to be good for me. What others consider to be successful, for me can be a failure. I might just have different priorities. Nothing is wrong and nothing is right. Coaching is an amazing tool, but for those who feel the need to change within themselves. One coach,with 20 years of experience told me: Neither you nor your client should waste it’s time. When the customer does not feel 100% need to change and is willing to take action here and now, you will lose your reputation because you will not help him, and the client will lose money and the last hope that someone will solve problems for him…


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