Karolina Filosek

Toxic relationships

Anna and Martha met in college. Anna was a great student with high achievements, and Martha is a hit blonde with long legs. Anna did not have many friends until her studies. Since she has remembered, her parents required from her the best marks at school  and an impeccable attitude. She had no time for friends. She envied her classmates, that they had so much to do with each other and she reminded unnoticed. Martha has never had this problem, surrounded by the friends and adorators, lived the life to the full and changed people in her life like underwear.

Martha’s acquaintance and interest in Anna, surprised her. However, by being in college now and having chance to have friends finally, she did not wonder about this long. Martha initially showed a lot of interest to Anna. Where do you come from, what does interest you, what your parents do, what your most secret dreams are.. She was interested in everything related to Anna. It was so wonderful for Anna that she immediately fall for Martha. She became an idol for her. Her extraordinary friend, whom she had not ever had. Martha has talked a lot about herself. And If she talked, she told her mainly about herself as a wonderful, perfect and without any flaw in her personality.

After a while, Martha began to demand evidence of friendship. Anna had to write thesis for Martha when she was tired after a crazy party weekends. She wrote the exam for herself, then exchanged the tests and also wrote the exam for Martha. This and many other evidence of loyalty was expected from her every day on. Anna was complaining how poor and tired she was and how much it counts on Ania, because on anyone in this life can not rely on it. 

Anna has been standing it for a long time. She desparately wanted the friendship with Martha. She had no one else in the new city, until this very moment , that Tomek appeared. Handsome ,brown hair and charming. He has been watching Anna for a long time from the last row in the lecture hall. She seemed unusual and mysterious. The only thing that prevented him from the approach to her was  of Martha. He felt that this woman could not be trusted. But there was a chance. On one occasion, Martha was so drunk that she did not appear all day on lectures. He sat down next Anna on that day and so began their acquaintance.

Initially, he did not pay particular attention to Martha and her gaze at him. A sight full of evil and bitterness… Martha felt that he was a threat to her. He was Not like Anna, delicate internally and prone to her manipulation, greedy attention and love of the other man. He had a primed sense of value, he knew who he was dealing with. He has not once resided with an emotional vampire.

Martha began to fall into a panic. Thomas and Ania were getting into each other and she definetlly had to do something about it. She started to torment Anna and make her feel guilty :”How can you leave me so and go out with him today, after all I’ve done for you.” She manipulated Anna emotionally from all sides. However, the love of Anna to Tom was stronger, she began slowly opening her eyes on what Martha had so far done to her. She felt more and more mentally exhausted after her encounters with her. Martha shouted at her, she insulted her, and blamed about things that never took place. 

Anna thought she was mad. On the one hand, she wanted to be with Tomek and on the other she felt she should listen to Martha. This internal dissonance was not giving her sleep. Maybe I’m so cruel, as Marta says? Maybe I should not leave a friend for a guy? Maybe she’s right. She opened my heart when I arrived here (as she told me) “Gray mouse from the village” and now I leave her for Tom….

How this story ended I will tell you on the occasion of another post.

Such stories you’d find in your or your friends life plenty . Toxic people like Martha at the beginning of relationship ,will be carrying you on their hands. Until the very moment, when they will ask you to pay for their generosity. Maybe like Marta,who demanded from Anna writing her exams, or in the form of reporting information about your shared friends, or in the form of total devotion and obedience to their rules and demands.

Ways of manipulation are various. It is mainly try to make you feel guilty and insinuate things to you that have never taken place. In the next stage, as you  are already slightly “co-dependent” with such a toxic person, you will do everything to please this man. And that’s the way to endless torment.

When you discover that you are exhausted mentally after meetings with these people and you constantly think about them. When you feel that this is not a relationship in which there is an unwritten principle of mutual kindness, take care of yourself and run away.

Such relationships suck up a lot of energy from man. They can smash and drag the man to the down. To get out of it you need a lot of strength. But, know that this strength is in you 🙂 Look inside and find the source. There you will find the answer “What am supposed to  do now 🙂

I wish you only good people around you. And in these difficult relationships a lot of strength and love to yourself. Once you discovere unlimited source of inner love, you will move the mountains.

I greet You warmly in that spring evening.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: