Karolina Filosek

How To Stop Being A People Pleaser (part 2)

Challenges in the journey to AUTHENTIC YOU

In my previous post I summarized people pleasing symptoms. Well , who faced this issue with no doubts has a though cookie to eat. The journey to assertiveness, is like climbing on K2 mountain.

Somebody, could say that I am over escalating this personal issue. It cannot be that thought as summiting the biggest mountain in the world.

American climber George Bell said “K2 is a savage mountain that tries to kill you”. K2 offers climbers almost no flat sections.

My dear reader, when you are deep in the people pleasing hamster circle there is no flat moments either. The journey to reach the moment when you make decision deep with YOUR needs , requires a lot of effort and exercises from us.

The main challenging similarities I could see between climbing and the inner fight are

A fight with your own body

Your body need to adapt to new challenging environment. I still remember this stomach problems and breath taking moments when I was saying NO for the first time. Heart bumping like a it was about to jump out of my chest. For the first time in the environment which was new for me. When you used to always put other first, you have never challenge your body to stay in your NO. Getting use to being assertive gives a lot of stress, which impact your body. It has to get use to fact, that saying NO will not kill you.

Challenge with an environment

When you stop pleasing people, others often react with a shock. Why would you change? It was so good to be around you. You were always on time, on top, on their order. Here came a change which they might not like it. People might treat you with cold or hot reactions. You need to handle this “too high /too law temperatures”, sometimes even hurricane winds! Yet, it take time before they get use to new You.

Lacks of body mind regeneration methods

You never know where the journey ends. Where you will meet a hard point on your way. Where the exhaustion from long-term effort will catch you. You just explore new You. Explore the paths which were never before in your life. Finding the methods which will help you regenerate take some time. It is important to have a guide who could teach you and warn you where to say STOP and “hide in the mountain wall for night” reclaim your body system.

Challenges related to the vastness of personal growth areas

Climbers need to have a lot of supplies , food, equipment. Sometimes they face incredible fear, when they lost connection or orientation in the mountain field.

On the journey to my authenticity I faced it too. There were a moments I didn’t know what else I can do. I didn’t know what direction I should go. For some time I couldn’t communicate with people. People from my old life disappeared and with people who stayed in my life I was creating new relationships.

There is so many resources on the market. So many coaches, therapist. So many way of telling you what to do. I was full of these information and at some point I felt lost. It took me a while to be back to the path. To the right path.

“Every year the mountain gives up some of its victims.”

Challenging path to authenticity is full of tears. Tears of happiness as well as heart breaking moments. Some of us cannot handle it. The pain of change and transformation may seem unbearable. That is why some people just withdraw from their path. They go back to this what they know. Sometimes they lock themselves in their sorrow forever. Believing that it will be better there than in this difficult process.

My dear reader but I am here today to tell you. Do not give up. Take a step back when you feel you need it. Stay in the camp with others or alone when you feel you need it. Take a guide when you feel you need it. These are challenges. But the challenges are here to overcome them.

You can do it.

The view from the summit is breathtaking. IT’s worth it.

If you are interested how to overcome this challenge in your life, follow me on LinkedIn or FB.

You will get notification with my next blog where I will provide first step, when you completely start your people pleasing challenge.,

If you liked this post, please click like and share it. There are more people who need some knowledge on this topic.

You can also book your free coaching session to discover life coaching with me .


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